Speech That Sends Chills, and Chilling Speech

First off, something from the "writing of harlots," which is the Greek etymology for our word "pornography," and don't tell me this ain't porn, 'cuz I'm at least as Bad an American as former Supreme Court prude Potter Stewart, who couldn't define porn, but famously said "I know it when I see it.":

I have taken off my robe--
must I put it back on again?
I have washed my feet--
must I soil them again?
My lover thrust his hand through 
the latch-opening;
my heart began to pound for him.
I arose to open for my lover,
and my hands dripped with 
myrrh...


-As they say in the American South, "Lawdamercy!" Is it getting hot in here? I took this passage from a putatively "religious" (HA!) book commonly known as Song of Songs. I found this in a larger anthology-like book called...pardon me for a moment while I check the title, the OG tries to be precise in these things...Ahh. Here it is: Something called The Old Testament? Sounds a tad grandiose, but the author probably thought it would increase sales. Anyway, I copped the passage above from section 5, lines 3-5.


Presumably I will now be threatened by Google's AdSense people. Why?


This past Tuesday I woke to an email in my inbox from adsense-google@noreply.com and here was the subject heading:

Google AdSense: You have 3 working days to make changes to your site

Date: November 1, 2011 5:25:27 AM PDT

Turns out a bot (let's hope it wasn't a human) took offense to my non-porn porn-writing in this post, which was supposedly in violation of the terms of my AdSense agreement. Here's the part of the agreement I apparently offended:

Adult content

The AdSense network is considered family-safe, which means that publishers aren't permitted to place Google ads on sites which contain adult content. In addition to photos and videos which contain nudity or sexual activities, here are some other examples of unacceptable content:

• Lewd or provocative images
• Crude or indecent language, including adult stories
• Sexual tips or advice
• Sexual fetish sites (e.g. foot fetish content)
• Adult toys or products
• Ads or links to external sites containing adult content

If your site has content which you wouldn't be comfortable viewing at work or with family members around, then it probably isn't an appropriate site to place Google ads upon.

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Okay: I don't see how I violated any of these terms. Do you? Was I being called out because I used the word "porn" in my post's title? (If so, you bloggers on food: watch out when using the now-fashionable term "food porn" or you run the risk of Daddy Google making you stand in the corner. Or worse.)


I sought redress. It's not easy trying to figure out who to write to (forget calling!) when dealing with the "Don't Be Evil" Google Leviathan. I found an address I thought seemed close enough, and pleaded my case in a few sentences.


Here's what I got back:

>gddsmith has posted an answer to the question "I don't think my two blogs or sex-related issues violate the Adsense terms, but they gave me three days":

>Well you might think it's ridiculous but that post & probably the sex post would not comply w/ their family friendly policy. So it's your choice, you can comply w/ the policy or find your site or the whole Adsense account disabled. There are many publishers that don't get a warning & simply find the ads already disabled so they are willing to give you a chance to fix the issue but it needs to be done within the three day span.

http://adsense.blogspot.com/2007/11/play-it-safe-family-safe.html

>Regardless of how intellectual & humorous that you think your post are there are a number of advertisers that would be outraged if they knew their ads were showing on a site/post on that subject. They cater to those that actually pay the bills & what business wouldn't if they actually want to stay in business.

>Also if there are any other violations of their policies they may still disable ad serving even though they didn't state those in the warning. When they review it it needs to be 100% compliant.

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Gosh, I knew they were just delightful folks over at AdSense, but did "gddsmith" have to lay the charm on so thick? "[...] or find your site or the whole Adsense account disabled." Whew! It's gettin' hot in here, I do declare! (But why didn't he/she/it sign off with a "sincerely and best of luck, gddsmith"? I feel hurt...) I'm so PRIVILEGED just to have a site and be allowed to display ads, that if I talk about Oprah talking about her vagina they might squash ALL MY WRITING here? Don't tell me: this "gddsmith" has a degree in Public Relations, right?


[The Overweening Generalist would like to remind his readers that the Electronic Freedom Foundation and the American Civil Liberties Union have been doing a crackerjack job, and if you want or need to donate to a charitable source - you might get a tax write-off! - the end of the year is approaching fast! These are two eminently worthy defenders of Free Speech. Back to our regularly scheduled programming.]


It's now been more than 72 hours since I received my warning, and I spent a lot of time in the interim asking friends and fellow-writers to review my blog, and say what they thought. A self-described conservative writer-friend in Texas said my post made her "blush" but she didn't think I had violated anything. Everyone else came back with the verdict that can best be summed up with the word "Bullshit!" 

Which was what I thought, too. I think there's more eroticism in the Bible passage than anything I wrote; my intent was NEVER to titillate or inflame or be prurient in any way. If you read "Frank Talk About Porn, Jokey Talk About Sex" and DID feel titillated, please seek professional help. (If you work for Google, you can probably also afford remedial writing classes; no one working at Google should still be writing at an 8th grade level. Horrid epistolary prose is something I find, personally speaking, indecent.) I was trying to talk about issues surrounding the world of sex and porn that I had first taken notice of on commercial TV or mainstream news. Notice the links? I tried to put a humorous spin on the topics. (Humor is hard, folks. You try it.) I was trying to appeal to intellectual adults. And I grew up in a family that wouldn't have had a second thought about these topics. Must I assume Reverend Mathers Stickoopass and his family are reading and tailor everything to their emotionally-plagued minds? (Notice I never explained what a "money shot" was.)

For what I did, Google was ready to pull all ads from my site - which is all the ads I have - and I guess I'd have to relinquish the $30-odd I'd built up from ad clicks. But the issue of pulling the ads did not bother me, really. What bothered me was this bloodless notice threatening me for something I'd written. "Families" and "children" or "people at work" were going to see my blog and it was going to SCARE them or RUIN their day? They were going to feel embarrassed? And relate the content to the ads for some college a few inches away? REALLY? From this same guy who writes ad nauseum on Noam Chomsky? Who has a "thing" for Modernist Hungarians? Who at times can't help but choose to write on the topics of Aldous Huxley, or his favorite chemists, or epigenetics, or relatively free-floating unattached intellectuals in history? This dude who has a crush on 16th century essayist Montaigne? 


REALLY? This is a significant threat to the people behind the ads I've allowed about institutions of learning, books, and political ideas? Hooo-kay!

So yea: more than 72 hours since the threat from the Don't Be Evil people. I still have ads up as I write this. If you're reading this and there are no ads, they came down on me. If you're not reading this because the blog has been banished by Der Googlemeister's little Fuhrers to the Land of Thud, well, I can't deal with your problem. 


No notices. Nothing. Am I to assume some thoughtful person actually read my blog and said, "Why are we threatening this guy? Let him be." I don't know. Frankly, I do wonder about "gddsmith," though...

"When we compare stoic with Christian ejaculations we see much..." - from William James's classic The Varieties of Religious Experience, p. 42 of the Modern Library version. Gosh, I hope my quoting of James doesn't ruin those businesses "that actually want to stay in business," as "gddsmith"put it to me, with such civility.

Note that a woman with the PhD in Molecular Microbiology was one of those who commented at the end of my post. She has taught 11 year olds sex education and found that kids are endlessly fascinated about this stuff. Note that she found the erotically-charged STATISTICS I cited to dovetail with her own experiences as a teacher. 


To the people who get all wadded-up over the stuff I wrote, or the way I wrote it: What PRETEND world do you think you live in? What FAKE utopia do you pine after? What gutless, boring, moronic Valhalla is being preserved by trying to scare someone like me?

To me, this was an attempt at a chilling effect. And maybe this particular blog post will get me kicked off Google's Blogger/Adsense/and well, half of the Internet. But if I do get kicked off, at least have a Human Being tell me why I was threatened in the first place. Charles Keating this! Don't hire some Palin to respond to my query about why I was threatened, 'cuz that was a load of Santorum.

May we all gather 'round the Great Turducken some day. That is all.

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post scriptum: I see my journalist friend Tom Jackson, on November 4th, has linked my non-family-oriented post with something that Robert Anton Wilson said in an interview, and for that I'm honored.

                                           No one was harmed in the making of this blog post.